Note: For Sue's Birthday
 

Feet kicked slowly in time to Alex's progress through his high school social studies text. The pencil end in Alex's mouth was thoroughly chewed. He frowned again and said, "I don't really understand. If Martin Luther King was a good man, why did someone kill him?"

"That's hard to explain, Alex," Walter said. He thought about the complexity of the story behind the story. No, Alex wasn't really mature enough to hear about FBI surveillance and illegal wiretapping.

Scooting off the chair, Walter sat down on the rug next to Alex. "You know people believe strongly in things and they act in ways that they know are wrong."

Shutting the book, Alex's big green eyes stared into Walter's brown eyes. "Is that what I did?"

Oh God, Walter had been praying that Alex's memories stayed behind the curtain that shielded him from the horrors of the past. Despite the fact that Walter had not touched him sexually yet, he wanted to have him. He was falling in love with Alex by the day. He saw in Alex's unfurling intelligence, the bright young man he thought he had known and worse, thought he loved. The feelings he thought had died reawakened infused with a new tenderness.

Resting his hand on Alex's arm, Walter said, "Alex, are you having bad dreams again?"

"Sometimes, when Mulder sleeps with you," Alex said honestly.

Walter wasn't altruistic enough to offer to skip his nights with Mulder to prevent the bad dreams. He said, "I'll make you some warm milk tonight."

"We could all sleep together," Alex said. "Then I would sleep well."

"Alex, I'm just not ready for that yet," Walter said. "Later, when you're...older."

"I'm not a stupid kid," Alex said sulking. "I was sick and now I'm better. Much better."

It was true that Alex's intelligence wasn't affected, not the overall ability to process information. His language skills were slowly coming back to what they had been. So was his knowledge base. He was a fascinating blend of adult and child.

"I remember you used to love me," Alex observed, looking at Walter from beneath his long lashes.

Damn, the man still manipulated. Even thinking that, Walter found himself responding, he said, "I love you now, but I don't want to start anything with you until you remember more of what happened. We hurt each other badly, Alex."

"What if I never remember?" Alex asked. "Why does it matter? I know my body remembers you. I want you."

"We don't always get what we want," Walter said. He brushed a lock of hair out of Alex's eyes and kissed his forehead. "Finish your work."

"You didn't really answer my question," Alex said. "I know I did terrible things, but I don't understand why. I must have had a reason."

"I know you had reasons," Walter said, frowning, "But you never told anyone the truth. We know you were working for the rebels at the end, but we don't know why or how long you had been on that side."

"Why couldn't they have fixed my brain correctly?" Alex said. "If they could make me well in every other way, why not restore my memories?"

"I suppose they have limitations like the rest of us," Walter said. "You finish your chapter and take the test. I'm going to chop some firewood. By the time we both finish, Mulder will be back with groceries."

"Thanksgiving groceries?" Alex asked.

"Yes, Thanksgiving groceries, I made him a careful list," Walter said.

"Do Russians celebrate Thanksgiving?" Alex asked.

"I know one Russian who will from now on," Walter said. "You'll like it. It revolves around food."

There was a gobble from the yard as Walter walked out. He rolled his eyes at the big turkey that came running up the moment he stepped out. One of the neighbors had brought it over as tiny poult to raise for Thanksgiving dinner. Mulder had looked at the ball of fluff and laughed. He said, "May as well name it. Alex will never let us eat it."

Alex had declared the turkey's name to be Tom-Tom. It was the tamest bird in the flock and still followed him around like a giant misplaced chick. Walter smirked at the bird as he raised the ax. "Yeah, yeah, you are one lucky bird."

As an afterthought, Walter took some bread he just happened to have slipped in his pocket and fed the feathered bandit. Goose sounded good for Thanksgiving anyway. He just hoped no one ever gave Alex a gosling.

OooOooO

Mulder pulled up just as Walter layered the fresh wood artistically on the top of the pile. Dusting his hands, Walter strode over to help lug the bounty into the cabin. Alex jetted out, long legs eating up the distance. His enthused kiss distracted Mulder enough to make him drop the bag of canned goods, breaking the bag and scattering the supplies everywhere.

Grumbling, Walter picked up the cans. Alex joined the scramble, brushing Tom-Tom aside as the gobbler investigated the canned olives.

Hauling sack after sack into the kitchen, Walter was grateful for the huge pantry. Six pies cooled on the baker's rack, one apple, one mincemeat, a peach, a lemon meringue, and two pumpkin pies. There were ample stores of everything. Mulder was paranoid about supply chains being interrupted. He liked the security of the deep, well-packed shelves.

"Wash the yams and potatoes, Alex. We should get as much done as possible tonight," Walter said.

"Okay," Alex said, rolling up his sleeves. He lugged the vegetables to the sink and grabbed the brush.

When they had finished as much of the dinner as could be completed ahead of time, Walter pulled out his old guitar and played as Alex drank his warm milk. He chose a soothing old Russian folk song,

Lullaby, my little baby,
Close your eyes so bright,
While the moon pours o'er the cradle,
All her silvery light.
While the moon pours o'er the cradle,
All her silvery light.

Alex's eyes were blinking by the time Walter finished his song. Mulder and Walter accompanied Alex to his bed and tucked him in. Both of them kissed him and wished him sweet dreams.

OooOooO

Walter said, "Alone at last," as he reached for his lover.

"Mmmm, stuff me, big boy," Mulder said in his voice, that somehow managed to be both flat and sultry. The humor that danced in Mulder's voice was welcome. How Walter remembered the increasing depression and anxiety in his lover's voice. Everything had gone to hell, but it was all right now.

Mulder in his arms after they both came, Walter would have thought nothing could wake him, but a sudden noise brought both of them out of bed. Walter looked across at Mulder's naked body, every muscle snapped to tense perfection, his gun at ready.

Neither man lowered their guns until they saw that the source of the noise was a spilled ice cube tray. Alex looked at them, big eyes terrified. He said, "I was hot so I was going to make an iced tea."

"Hot?" Mulder asked, turning around to give his gun to Walter to put away. "It's cold in the house, Alex. Did you drink or eat anything? I want to check your temperature."

"No, I just took the ice out," Alex said, squatting to pick up the mess.

"Okay, it's all right, love," Walter said.

By the time that Walter had put away the guns, Mulder had a thermometer in Alex's mouth. The two men went to put on robes as the house was too cold for nudity. When they returned, Mulder read Alex's temperature. It was two degrees above normal. Alex reported that he didn't feel sick to his stomach and he wasn't coughing. Mulder said, "Walter, I don't want him to be alone if he is sick. Do you want me to sleep in Alex's bed?"

"No, he can sleep with us," Walter said.

Alex looked very pleased with the prospect, but Walter didn't think that Alex knew enough subterfuge to fake being ill. He had a niggling doubt, knowing Alex hated to sleep by himself.

Alex had a normal temperature and no symptoms the next day.

OooOooO

By morning, Alex was his usual self, up early to feed his chickens and lucky Tom-Tom Turkey a good breakfast. He diligently cut a tray of vegetables as his share of food preparation. Mulder stirred and basted under Walter's command. Walter was the best cook. Sharon had never cared for that role so Walter had taken a cooking class in self-defense. It had been a while since he had used the skills, but since moving to the cabin, he had taken over most of the cooking with pleasure.

Doggett, Scully, Monica, and Jeff Spender were coming to dinner. Mulder had finally softened to his half-brother and Alex apparently had known Jeff better than anyone thought. He had hugged Jeff when Mulder had brought the man home for a visit. Sometime during the visit, Alex's rebel friends had cured Jeff of the afflictions his father had caused with his experiments. At least, that was the only explanation that anyone had for Jeff going to sleep looking as if someone had thrown acid in his face and waking as the handsome young man he once been.

All of the guests were staying at the nearby motel. Not even Jeff had opted for the cabin tonight. It might have been that Mulder and Alex were loud the one time that Jeff stayed.

OooOooO

The dinner went beautifully. There were no arguments. Thank God, no one decided to discuss the more unusual X Files. Doggett had no comments at all about Alex. Scully was too busy with William to tell Mulder what a mistake he was making. As for Reyes, her naturally outgoing and kind nature made her go way out of her way to keep Alex from feeling uncomfortable. Jeff seemed to take everything in stride. Walter was almost jealous of the way the formerly annoying agent evoked fragments of Alex's memory.

Alex had little interest in the football games that everyone else adored. Scully allowed him to take William out to play with the chickens although she kept an eye on them from the window seat.

Slow and sedate as a result of a huge meal, it didn't matter whom slept with whom that night so Walter had no comment when Alex climbed into his bed. Mulder wandered into the room, tousled, hazy eyed, and looking more delectable than anything that had been put on the table. He shrugged and took the other side of the bed. No one so much as snored.

OooOooO

After seeing their visitors off, the three men had very little to do except eat leftovers.

"I like this holiday," Alex declared. "Eating is a good thing to celebrate."

Putting down his paper, Walter said, "It's not really about eating. It's about being thankful."

The funny crease returned over Alex's nose. He said, "I'm thankful every day."

"You are?" Walter said.

"Yes," Alex answered, giving Walter a cautious eye as he opened the refrigerator door and removed the last piece of pumpkin pie.

Although it was only ten in the morning, Walter decided that it was late enough to allow Alex to have the pie he wanted to eat for breakfast. He nodded permission.

"Mmm," Alex sighed as he took his first bite. "I wish we could have pumpkin pie every day.

"You would soon grow tired of it," Walter said. "When you like something, you shouldn't have it all of the time."

"I have Mulder almost every day and I still like him," Alex pointed out. "Mulder and you are my biggest thanks to give."

That was said so sincerely that Walter had to smile. He said, "I think that's a different thing. When you are in love, you don't get tired of making love to your lover."

The frown that furled across Alex's face was quick and dark. He said, "But you loved me and now you won't make love to me."

"Alex, stop pushing. The fact that I won't have sex with you has nothing to do with my loving you. Right now, I just wouldn't feel comfortable," Walter said.

Walter had accepted that Alex and Mulder were in a sexual relationship. He understood that Alex had a man's passions and interests despite his naive nature after his injury. What kept him from taking what he desired was worry that Alex would suddenly remember the sound and the fury of the past and hate him for taking advantage of him when his mind was clouded.

Finishing his pie, Alex went to let his chickens roam around the yard. He had finally succeeded in training them to go back into the pen, more or less on command. Lately there had been a hawk circling so he never let them out unless he was right there. The death of his favorite hen, Salt, still bothered him.

Walter shuddered as he considered the natural life span of chickens. Eventually, Alex was going to have to face death again. Walter had explained to him that things died most of the time because they were old or sick. Alex kept saying that they shouldn't die if you were good and careful. Nothing Mulder or Walter said could persuade him otherwise. Walter supposed that experience would have to be Alex's teacher for this hard lesson.

Having finished his session with the Lone Gunmen on his computer, Mulder wandered out in the room. He went to the window to check on Alex before going to the refrigerator for a snack and some iced tea.

"Good to be alone again," Mulder observed.

"It's too bad the Gunmen couldn't have joined us," Walter said.

"Well, you know, since they decided to play dead, they are more paranoid than ever. They won't even tell me where they are hiding," Mulder said.

"I suppose," Walter said. "I think the dinner went well. Everyone is getting used to the idea of Alex."

"Yes, I thought Scully would be the hard one. It surprised me that Doggett was the last to come around," Mulder remarked.

"John's pretty black and white," Walter remarked. "Harboring a man with all of Alex's history can barely be described as gray."

"I guess. You know? I was never prepared to like John. The man had my place, next to Scully, my office. I felt like he took over my life. After you know him though, you can't help but to respect him and even like him," Mulder said.

"And your life was far from taken" Walter remarked. "You're more your old self out here than you were the last two years at the bureau."

"And I have you and Alex," Mulder said. He sat on the couch next to Walter, leaning into him. "Walter, about Alex..."

"Let's not discuss that," Walter reproved. "I'd rather just think about tonight. It's our night."

"Mmm, yes," Mulder said. His eyes glowed like a cat in front of a fireplace.

OooOooO

This time, the noise of vomiting interrupted Walter before the last shocks of pleasure vibrated through him. Mulder was up and moving before Walter was all the way out.

Even though Walter had finished, he didn't appreciate Mulder jumping out of bed. Resentfully, Walter pulled on a robe and followed the voices into the bathroom.

Alex sat on the toilet looking pale but somehow satisfied.

"He threw up," Mulder said.

"He's been eating all day, no wonder," Walter growled.

Walter had his suspicions, but he didn't voice them until he observed that Alex was fit as a fiddle the rest of the night.

Well, Walter remembered a cure for such behaviors ALA Mother Skinner.

OooOooO

Setting a thin bowl of creamed rice cereal in front of Alex, Walter blithely shoveled waffles onto his and Mulder's plates.

"I want waffles too," Alex said in shock.

"Oh, but you were sick last night," Walter said. "Cream of Rice is the best thing for that."

Walter's penchant for Cream of Rice dated back to Vietnam where it had been used in a variety of foods. He always had some in the cupboard, preferring it to Cream of Wheat or the other more common hot cereals of the type. Alex ate it, but then Alex ate everything.

But waffles...waffles were Alex's favorite food.

"I feel fine today," Alex said. "I don't feel sick."

"We have to be careful," Walter said. "Two unknown illnesses isn't good. This time, you will have to stay in bed all day."

"All day?" Alex said, voice dropping into a whine.

"All day," Walter declared.

Mulder had argued that Alex couldn't have been faking his illness when Walter had explained this plan. Now, shrewd hazel eyes were narrowing as he observed Alex's reactions.

"Except when I have to feed my chickens and Tom-tom?" Alex suggested hopefully.

"No, love," Mulder said, "I'll take care of that for you. Walter is right. We have to be careful with you."

Time passed. At lunchtime, Walter made prime beef sandwiches rich with horseradish for Mulder and he. Alex had a tray with beef broth and Jell-O. The shock on Alex's face was priceless.

"You'll have the same for dinner," Walter explained as Alex picked up his spoon.

The utensil dropped with a clatter. Alex said, "No!"

"Can't be helped. You were sick," Walter said.

Now Alex's mouth trembled. He said, "No, I wasn't. I just remembered that when I was sick that one time a few weeks ago, you and Mulder let me sleep in your bed. So I rubbed the thermometer the first time and I put my finger in my throat last night to make myself throw up. I read about that in a book. There were more ideas, but I was pretty sure that you wouldn't be fooled by painted on spots."

"Alex, love, you know I told you that you mustn't try anything you read in a book or saw on TV without talking to Walter or I," Mulder said.

"I know, but this didn't hurt anyone," Alex said.

"It hurt Walter," Mulder said. "I sleep with you almost all of the time. I want to sleep with Walter sometimes."

"I want to sleep with Walter too," Alex replied.

"Alex, we've had this conversation," Walter said. "I want you, but I'm not ready to resume having sex with you. I'm not sure you're ready, no matter what you think."

Alex's expression, lowered eyes, twist of mouth, combined with the toss of his head startled Walter. That was the man he had known.

"I think you're just afraid that I'll be bad again and you'll hate me or have to hurt me," Alex said.

"No, that's not it," Walter said, lying a little.

"But even if we don't have sex, I could still sleep with you. I'm not jealous of you and Mulder. I just don't like being alone," Alex said.

Walter hadn't considered that. He felt a bit foolish. However, before he conceded there was another matter.

"Lying and making the people love you worry aren't right," Walter said. "I don't think you will ever make the same mistakes with this life as you did with your old, but you know, we are trying to make sure you know right from wrong."

"I was already punished by not having waffles and good sandwiches," Alex suggested.

"Alex, that was not a punishment exactly. If you had been sick, that would have been good sense to make sure you only had easy to digest food," Walter explained.

"After you spank me, can I get up and have something good to eat?" Alex asked hopefully.

Walter felt relieved. For Alex to feel that a spanking was not as bad as being confined to his room and kept on an invalid's diet made Walter feel that he was doing something right. Maybe Alex did trust him.

"I think you should have the spanking and stay in your room until dinner," Walter said.

Watching the disappointed face, Walter said, "But after I spank you, I'll lie down with you. Maybe Mulder will too."

"Sure, I will," Mulder said. He looked at Walter with a glint of humor. "But Walter is right. What you did deserved a spanking and more. What if you were really sick and I thought you were faking?"

"That would be bad," Alex agreed. "I am sorry I made you worry."

Sitting on the bed, Walter felt the yielding of the mattress beneath his weight. Alex liked a soft bed. "Come here," Walter said, patting his legs.

The slow reluctant movements of his former lover and his current...charge reminded Walter of his last dog. Walter always knew that Chance had been up to no good when he approached in that way, obedience fighting a conditioned association between rule breaking and discipline.

Alex sighed as he pulled off the underwear that was all he had been wearing and put them carefully in the hamper. He settled over Walter's lap, faintly trembling.

"Discipline, Alex, not torture. You know that this will hurt, but I am disciplining you with love. It won't last forever and it won't hurt for long. Just long enough for you to remember. Twenty swats as this was serious," Walter said.

"Okay," Alex said, in a shaky voice.

Walter had to close his eyes for a moment before the vision of that silken ass draped over his legs. He remembered kissing the hollow of that back, his fingers had gripped those broad, strong shoulders in passion, leaving red indentations in the pale flesh.

Not that yet...but Walter knew he wanted Alex. Soon, he would sit him down and tell him what had happened between them. Then if Alex still wanted him...

The moment was now.

Drawing his hand back, Walter lowered it swiftly. The crack of firm hand against soft flesh was like thunder. Alex yelped. Rapidly, Walter swatted three more times. Alex whimpered and his breath hitched.

"I'm sorry," Alex whispered, his voice taking on that throaty rasp Walter remembered from other occasions, some of pleasure and others imbued with pain.

"I know you are," Walter said. "But you are still getting sixteen more swats."

"Oh," Alex mourned. "I really am sorry. I'll never do it again."

"That's good," Walter said. His mother had always said that discipline should always be no less and no more than said. He held back for most of the blows. He knew he had the point across. Despite his forbearance, Alex's ass glowed as red as a ripe tomato by the time he was done.

Holding Alex in his arms, Walter stroked his hair and back. This was what he feared to lose even to gain his lover back. He had once thought he would never forgive Alex, but he had been wrong. Now he cherished the relationship he had with the fey creature that the alien's healing had created even as he desired the relationship they had once had. He no longer hated Alex and he didn't feel as if he could bear having Alex hate him. Walter was caught in a moral dilemma.

Mulder brought a cool compress for Alex's burning flesh. His eyes questioned Walter for a moment before he applied the cooling blend of calendula, lavender, and comfrey. Alex wiggled as the cold hit the heat of his bruises. A moment later he sighed as the compress soothed his injuries.

"Thank god for that web site Frohike sent me," Mulder said.

Frohike had sent a link on herbal healing for BDSM couples.

http://latches.webslaves.com/herb/herbal.htm

It made Walter wonder what exactly Mulder had shared in his long discussions with his old friends. Mulder smirked at him. "Spanking isn't always a punishment,' he said.

"It isn't?" Alex asked. "When isn't it?"

Oh, well, Mulder must have saved his kinks for Walter's bed by the blush spreading across his face.

"I think we'll have to explain that later," Walter said.

"Okay," Alex agreed, sounding weary from the emotional lows and highs of the day.

Crowding into Alex's queen sized bed, Walter allowed Alex to snuggle into his arms.

"Can I sleep with you when you are not making love to Mulder?" Alex asked.

"Not every night," Walter said.

"Sometimes?" Alex asked.

"Yes, sometimes, often," Walter said. "Just not when you and Mulder want to make love and not when Mulder and I are making love."

"Okay," Alex said.

Settling down, Alex said, "Love you both."

Mulder replied, "Love you too, Alex, Walter."

Walter let his embrace speak for him. As he held Alex in his arms, he wondered what their future held.

Would Alex ever regain all his memories? Did Walter want him to have the pain and the pleasure restored?

There were no easy answers, but for now...

Alex was still innocent.

The end

For Sue (As PG as I can write)