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Opening the door to the loft was the last thing I wanted to be doing right now. But with my truck now in the shop, Simon drove me home telling me I needed to sleep.



Right, sleep. Like that's going to happen. I have a headache pounding between my eyes and he tells me I need to sleep.



Dropping the keys into the basket I shuck my coat and hang it without even thinking where the peg is. By it, I see the missing coat, the one that belongs to my roommate, my friend. My…



Shit.



I take a deep breath.



What was I thinking? I knew he wouldn't stay down, stay in the truck like he's supposed to. No he was there behind me in the thick of it.



Moving into the kitchen I pull down the bottle of Beam that I keep on the top shelf. I laugh, thinking I hide it so he can't find it, terrible being height challenged is in it?



I find a glass and pour me a healthy dose. Maybe it will help this headache go away.



I close my eyes again and see the whole scene again. Blair is behind me, rounding me, touching my back and telling me to concentrate on what I'm looking for. I was so focused on what is in front of us. I failed to keep my senses open all around us. We got dropped on. Two men came at us. One took a bat and hit Blair across the back, taking the impact. I turned and got off two shots, one on the beating and the other coming at me.



Hell broke lose and here I was trying to protect Blair.

He was hurt, he could see me but he was having hard time breathing.



Shit, what are these senses for, if I can't use them right?

Taking a deep swallow of burning liquid, I breathe in again. This has got to stop. He needs to stop getting hurt.



Simon was spitting nails when he lit into me about Blair being with me. It's his job, to chew my ass off. Blair laughs telling me I must have been gaining weight again if Simon was yelling at me.



Damn it Sandburg.



The headache doesn't seem to be relenting. Finishing the last swallow of amber liquid, I leave the glass on the counter, telling myself I'll clean it in the morning.



I secure the loft, checking doors and windows before heading up to my bedroom. Though I doubt I'll sleep, I'll try to rest till I can go back to the hospital. Blair was on pain medicine and he was in his own little world when Simon and I had left.



Stripping to nothing, I pull out the items that Blair had added to my night routine, a blindfold and white noise generator to help my over stimuli body to rest.



I had been so lucky that Blair had wormed his way into my life. If he hadn't I probably wouldn't be here. I admitted that more than once to Simon.



Slipping between the cool satin sheets, I place the blindfold over my eyes and let my hearing reach out, finding it filled with the static noise.



I have to find a way to keep Blair safe. If I don't, I might be limiting my own life.



yawn



I need to keep him safe.



yawn



Make him learn to stay back.



yawn



Let him know what he means to me.



yawn



That he means the most.
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