Disclaimer: Not mine - more's the pity. *sigh*
Pairing: M/K
Rating: NC-17 for language and m/m slashy sex
Other Websites: My page at RatB and Jennie's Place
Notes: A shameless PWP, written for the Lyric Wheel - dictionary round
Summary: Um... well, Mulder runs away from home and surprises Krycek - post Existence
Betas: Teri, Ursula, Sue ... the usual suspects, in other words

Word is Mammock: n. [Ir. & Gael. mam a round hill + -ock.] A shapeless piece; a fragment.
 

* * * * * * *

This sucked.

In a major way...

He should be happy.

He should be dancing in the fucking streets, for god's sake! Krycek - that ratbastard was DEAD. Thanks to Skinner.

He'd seen it. Watched in a disturbingly numb way as it happened.

And - he had a son. Had even had Scully - for all of 10 hours - but still, he'd had her. They'd decided with mutual understanding and regret that it wouldn't work. A good thing, he figured. He'd left her place with little more that a twinge of sadness and regret. Happy that things had ended with no bitterness - happy that his son was healthy, happy, and that he could see him whenever he wanted.

Happy, for chrissake!

So... now, the problem he faced was that he had no job, no inclination to find one, NO fucking idea what he'd do next.

And a rather frightening urge to simply chuck every bit of his old life - just get the fuck out of Dodge.

//And go where? Do what, exactly?//

Look for ...

Nope, not EVEN gonna go there!

With a sudden burst of energy, Mulder started packing. Called and got himself a storage unit. Hired a moving company.

Time to move on. Maybe he'd write a book. Maybe he'd go to Tahiti and become a beach bum. Hell, maybe he'd get a job at McDonald's. Whatever. Anything to pass the time while he decided what to do with himself.

It took a surprisingly short amount of time to pack up the detritus of his rather sad life. Once the movers had safely ferried his belongings to the storage place, Mulder cleaned the apartment from top to bottom, paid the penalty for breaking his lease and hit the road.

As long as he was on a roll... What the hell? He headed north, intending to clean out and then sell his mother's house. No sense in retaining any ties to his past. Nothing good to remember there.

He pulled into the drive of the old house, went inside and crashed. Fell asleep on the sofa in the parlor, before he'd even carried in his belongings - the few he'd brought along with him, that was.

The sense of freedom - of having shed the pains and frustrations of his time with the X-Files - was GREAT, he decided, when he finally woke 14 hours later.

Yep, great. Just marvy.

He rose and stumbled into the kitchen. Cursed when he realized that the electricity had been shut off. No coffee, dammit. With a sigh of resignation, he headed out to his car, intending to hit the local Starbucks and get himself a good jolt of caffeine before facing the chore of getting the utilities reinstated.

Spotted, upon climbing back into his vehicle, coffee in hand, the noticeable lack of boxes in his back seat.

Some lowlife had stolen his few treasured belongings while he'd slept.

Bastard.

Not that he'd lost all THAT much... his porn collection, his laptop - but a backup disk was in his jacket pocket, so no great loss there - and his clothes, easily replaced.

Okay. A hotel room for the time being. Hot shower. Yeah -that would be a good thing. Then a quick trip to K-Mart for clothing, cleaning supplies, and boxes. He fully intended to get this over with quickly.

He pulled back into the drive, lugged his purchases inside and decided to investigate just how much work he had ahead of him. In his old room, he found his boxes, bags and assorted odd containers.

The ones he'd assumed stolen from the car.

A bad feeling came over him.

Who the FUCK...

"Hey Mulder."

Oh, fuu-uuck.

He shivered as that well-remembered, husky voice washed over him.

Not surprised. Not really.

He really should have expected something like this. In fact, he HAD expected this. NOT hoped - expected.

Yeah, right.

Slowly, he turned and looked at the man. Damn. Looked the same - same old smirk. Same old ... same old goddamn, challenging stance.

After considering and rejecting several responses to this turn of events, he decided on casual, careless and uncaring. "Hey yourself," he answered. Krycek's eyebrows rose in what had to be consternation and confusion at the unexpected response.

Mulder was rather proud of that - of himself. "Cleaning and packing up," he informed the stunned Krycek. "You here to help?"

"Huh?" Krycek stared blankly for several beats, then gathered himself up and faced Mulder belligerently. "What the hell is up with you, Mulder? Where are the questions? The accusations? The beating?"

Mulder waved a casually uncaring hand in Krycek's direction. "No time. Gotta get this done. Moving on with my life. Sell this house, sell the cottage and I'm free."

"Free? Of what, exactly?"

"The past, of course."

"Uh huh." Krycek sounded more than a little dubious. "You're gonna leave it all behind? Just like that?"

"Yep." Mulder grinned and tossed an unfolded box in Krycek's direction. "Set that up. We'll start in the attic."

"Mulderrrr," Krycek growled. "Have you lost it?"

"Probably," Mulder answered cheerfully.

* * * * * * *

Okay. There were two possibilities here, Krycek decided. 1) Mulder really HAD lost his mind this time. 2) He was hallucinating the whole damned encounter himself.

Neither appealed.

Quite cheerfully, Mulder led him up to the attic and gave him surprisingly non-irritating instructions.

Asked no questions.

Smirked mysteriously every time he caught the confused, wary expression Krycek knew his face wore.

DAMMIT.

"Time for lunch," Mulder announced at noontime. "We'll have to go out - no food here."

Mulder wanted to go out? With HIM?

Curiouser and curiouser.

"Out?" Krycek couldn't help repeating in amazement.

"Sure. There's a great diner nearby."

Not only out - but to a sit-down restaurant.

No doubt about it - the strain of recent events had driven Mulder over the edge. Oh, what the hell? Krycek decided that he could live with a happy, carefree Mulder. For now.

Settled in a booth in the diner, Krycek studied the menu in silence. He didn't comprehend a word, his mind still whirling at this odd version of Mulder. The waitress came to their table and asked for their order - with entirely too much happy good will and animation for Krycek's taste.

He frowned and concentrated on the menu. While he did so, he was astonished to hear Mulder ordering for both of them. "We'll have two cheeseburgers with the works, two orders of fries, a coke for me and a chocolate milkshake for my friend, here."

Friend? FRIEND???

So stunned by this designation was he, that Krycek completely forgot to notice that Mulder had remembered what he liked for lunch.

Mulder chuckled. "Close your mouth, Alex. You're looking like the village idiot."

//Chuckled?//

//Mulder?//

Hoo boy - yep, Mulder was nuts.

"Um, Mulder... what exactly is going on here?"

"Lunch, Alex."

"But... don't you at least want to know how it is that I'm alive?"

"I'm assuming that was a clone," Mulder said carelessly, hitting the nail right on the head.

"Ah... yeah, it was. But-"

"No more buts, Alex. Let's just be here - enjoy this peace. We'll get around to all that eventually - not now, though."

O-okay.

After lunch - which Krycek ate mechanically, tasting nothing of it in his distraction - they headed back to the house. And worked easily together all afternoon, getting through all the junk in the attic.

And Mulder told him stories while they packed, as if...

As if they were the best of buds.

At the end of the day, the utilities had yet to be reinstated, and Mulder brushed his hands off in a satisfactory way, smiling at Alex. "Okay. Let's go back to our room and clean up before finding a place to eat dinner."

//OUR ROOM???//

"Mulder... I - you - what the fuck is going on here? You're acting like a madman. You HATE me."

With yet another smile - damn, he'd never seen so many smiles from this man - Mulder shrugged. "I USED to hate you, Alex. Not anymore. That life is over now."

Krycek stared, wondering just when Mulder would come back to his senses and get back to normal. Normal as in calling him all kinds of uncomplimentary names and throwing punches and making threats against his life - in general acting like an asshole.

"C'mon, Alex - I really need a shower."

Numbly, silently, Krycek followed him out to the car. Didn't even bother to argue when Mulder announced that one car was plenty - that Alex should simply leave his vehicle behind.

Accompanying Mulder into THEIR room, Krycek paused uncertainly just inside the door. Stared at the one bed in the room. Admittedly it was king-sized - but, still...

Mulder sighed. "What now?"

"Are you sure I shouldn't get my own room?" Krycek asked hesitantly.

"Hell no," Mulder said firmly. "How can we fuck if you're in another room?"

"F-f-f... WHAT did you say?"

"Don't like that word? Okay, 'How can we make love if you're in another room'?"

Krycek's eyesight dimmed and his head swam. Afraid that he would actually faint - for the first time in his life - he carefully moved to the bedside. Sat down. Realized just where he was sitting and jumped up. Got dizzy at the sudden movement and swayed.

"Hey, you okay?" Mulder swiftly moved to his side and solicitously lowered him to sit again on the edge of the mattress. "Maybe you'd better just rest for a minute while I shower."

Krycek gurgled. Closed his eyes and bent over to rest his head on his knees.

Mulder petted his hair soothingly.

That only made it worse.

"Go take your shower, Mulder," Krycek said. "Give me a little time."

"You WILL be here when I come out?"

"Alex?" Mulder prodded when silence was his only answer. "Promise me you'll stay."

Promise?

//Uh huh. Su-uure.//

"Alex?"

Krycek shrugged and raised his head. "Mulder-" he began to say, unsure where his words were leading.

"Promise me, Alex," Mulder insisted.

A bitter laugh escaped him. "Yeah, right - like you'd actually trust a promise from ME."

"Sure I would."

Defeated - for the moment - by Mulder's relentless cheerfulness, Krycek could do nothing but nod.

"Say it."

"Fine," Krycek grouched. "I PROMISE."

"Great!" Wearing that VERY disturbing smile, Mulder headed into the bathroom.

* * * * * * *

When he came out of the shower, clad in a towel, Alex was standing in the middle of the room - a befuddled expression on his face.

//This is SUCH fun!//

Mulder rambled around the room while Alex took his shower, repeatedly struck by fits of laughter. In between fits of nerves, that was. He fully planned to seduce Alex tonight. Didn't ask himself why - hell, he hadn't the faintest idea. Still, his determination grew by leaps and bounds.

//Admit it, idiot... you've ALWAYS wanted him.//

Okay. A nice dinner - a little flirting... Well, a lot of flirting. Nice romantic dinner. He knew just the place! Dark. Fireplace. Candles on the tables. Secluded tables. A roving violinist, for godssake!

He called and made a reservation for two.

When Alex emerged from the steam-filled bathroom, Mulder was already dressed. Slacks, a green (he hoped) button-down shirt under a creamy sweater. He was looking good. Sexy.

That deer-in-the-headlights stare told Mulder he'd succeeded. "Dress nicely, Alex. I have a lovely, romantic dinner planned."

His eyes narrowed. "Romantic?"

Definite worry about Mulder's sanity in his voice.

"I - I - I... " Krycek sighed. "I'm not so sure about this. Fast food might suit us better, all things given."

Mulder walked in his direction. and Alex actually flinched.

Hmmm.

Okay. Plan 2.

//Maybe he'll calm down a little if I seduce him BEFORE dinner// To that end, Mulder moved closer and smiled his best reassuring smile.

Krycek looked skeptical.

"Tell ya what, Alex... let's get the lovemaking out of the way first, THEN go eat."

Alex jumped back about six feet, plastering himself against the wall and looking as if he might bolt out the door.

Not to be deterred, Mulder walked over and pulled Alex into his arms.

He was trembling.

TREMBLING.

"No running away, my friend. I want this - I know you want this - let's just... " Mulder's voice lowered, "God, you're gorgeous. Sexy. Your eyes alone should be registered as lethal weapons."

"Uh-"

Excellent start - he'd reduced Alex to speechlessness again. Slowly, his trembling eased as Mulder simply held him close, sharing the warmth of his body.

"It's gonna be okay, Alex. I promise you."

"Uh-"

Once Alex finally relaxed, his growing arousal a tangible thing between them, Mulder slowly started backing to the bed. The other man followed without argument. Mulder fell back onto the mattress, pulling Alex down to lay atop him.

"Uh-"

//GOD, he's cute//

Mulder reached up and fixed his mouth to Alex's, nibbling and licking at his pink lips. Oh, he went rigid at the first touch, but gradually his mouth softened and, daringly, Mulder opened his lips and licked a line around those wonderfully pouty lips, then pushed just a little - he wanted in. Wanted to taste him.

Wonder of wonders, he opened. Grunted. Accepted the invasion, put his hand against the back of Mulder's head and opened wider.

Suddenly, Mulder's mouth was filled with HIS tongue.

Not that he minded. No, not even a little. Damn, Alex tasted good. And could he KISS! Soon Mulder found that he was making small needy sounds, sucking at Alex's tongue, writhing against him.

Which seemed to inspire Alex to greater efforts. His hips thrust, bringing their cocks into breathtaking contact.

Breaking away from the kiss, he panted for a moment. Gathered his wits. Stared at Mulder with glittering green eyes. "You're overdressed," he said huskily.

"So, undress me."

For a man with one arm, he managed this with surprising ease. Never let their bodies part as he did so.

Mulder had NO complaints. He was participating enthusiastically, in fact. Hell, if Alex felt better in the role of seducer Mulder could go along with that. Nooo problem.

Somewhere along the line, Alex had lost that damned towel. Oh baby. Oh yeah. It felt so good, naked bodies with no barriers between them.

Continuing to rub against Mulder, to thrust their cocks together, Alex looked down with such an expression of... what WAS that in his eyes? Triumph? Need? Loss of control?

Wow.

Things escalated quickly - each of them grunting and moaning and biting at each other with ever increasing passion. All too soon, Alex stiffened and came with a yell. Hearing that, Mulder followed him in short order, panting, whining, groaning.

Breathing heavily, they stayed in position for the longest time, lazily enjoying the aftermath.

Then, much to his dismay, Mulder started crying.

* * * * * * *

Oh shit.

Oh damn!

Tears had always scared him. And from MULDER?

He really shoulda seen it coming.

Alex rolled over to his back and pulled Mulder's face against his neck.

Waited for the storm to pass.

Awkwardly, Alex petted Mulder's head, his back, in what he hoped like hell was a comforting manner.

Snuffling, Mulder finally quieted. Still had his face buried in Alex's neck, though.

"Sorry," he offered in a muffled voice.

"'S'okay."

"I didn't mean to do that, Alex. I just - I'm just so..."

SHIT! He started crying again.

//This is going well//

Alex stared at the ceiling and simply held him.

Gradually, the tears slowed. Stopped.

"My life is so fucked," he said.

//Uh huh. Now tell me something I DON'T know//

"S-s-s-s-Scully. William. Skinner - that fucker. My job. You - watching you die... What the fuck do I DO, Alex?"

"Well," he offered, weighing his words carefully. "Take it one day at a time? Finish this up - and then... um... "

"I stood there and WATCHED him kill you, Alex."

"I understand, Mulder."

"Glad you do - 'cause I don't. I don't understand anything any longer."

"It'll be okay," Alex promised. "Honest, it will."

"Promise?" he asked with heartbreaking need.

More promises? "Yeah - I promise."

"You'll... will you stay? With me."

//Eh? He WANTS me to stick around?// Alex couldn't help wondering for how long.

"I - yes, Mulder. For as long as you need me."

//WHO said that?//

//Not Krycek. Surely not hard-as-nails, Alex Krycek.//

"Forever." Mulder said firmly.

//Okay, so maybe it WAS me//

Scary thought, that.

But... yeah, forever - as long as it might last.

"What do we do next?"

Do... ummm... "Finish up here. Sell the house. Maybe take a road trip."

"Okay." Mulder sighed and snuggled against Krycek.

"We'll have a garage sale. I don't want to keep anything from here."

"No? But - "

"You're the only piece of my past I care to hold onto, Alex."

Speechless at this, Krycek just lay there holding him. Determinedly not thinking. Not remembering.

Mulder stirred and raised his head, smiling soggily. "What do you say we go get that dinner now?"

//He wants to go out? NOW?//

Alex's hesitation must have been clear on his face, because Mulder frowned in thought, then said, "Okay, we'll call something in. And then..."

Then? "Then?" Alex asked.

A wide smile crossed Mulder's face. "Then we make love again, of course."

//Oh... okay. 'Then' sounds good - damn good!//

* * * * * * *

That's all folks...